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Any of us may have that place within that we would rather not see. We wish to
hide it for fear of rejection and disconnection, or we may wish to deny it to
avoid the discomfort that comes with acknowledgment. It is hard to see
ourselves clearly from this position.
This is when the “good enoughs” and “shoulds” may be most persuasive.
We can become identified with our problems, emotions, and
thoughts.
Long before I understood my relationship with myself, I was
aware of the exceptions to these feelings. I enjoyed the brief moments of
separation from my thoughts and judgments. In those moments, I could appreciate
me.
Time with nature has always helped me find my center. An act
as simple as sitting in the backyard could provide me with peace. Even while
moving, I find that nature encourages stillness within.
The sky, stars, and trees have a great deal to teach us if
we are ready to learn.
“You are the sky. Everything else is just the weather.” –
PemaChodron
The sky and its changing faces teach us about resilience and
acceptance. The sky can teach us that most things in life are temporary.We are not shattered by life’s obstacles any more than the
sky is shattered by thunder and lightning. We are not washed away by tears any
more than the sky is washed away by rain. Our emotions are no more permanent
than the wind.
Even after the brightest days, the sky must also see the
dark of night. We, too, must learn that both the good and bad shall pass.
“The sky is filled with stars, invisible by day.” – Henry
Wadsworth Longfellow
Sometimes, we overlook what is good. Positive events can be
overshadowed by troubles. Close friendships may be invisible in times of
conflict. Our own value seems to fade with comparison and competition.
The stars can be like this. Have you ever noticed what
happens to the stars away from the bright city lights? They are luminous. They
are everywhere. It seems that they have
just appeared, but the stars had really been there all along. They were just
covered up.
Now ask yourself, when was the last time you actively
noticed the stars? It can be easy go about our evenings and never look up. The
stars are always there waiting to be revealed, but we must also remember to
look for them.
In this way, the stars teach us about gratitude and
self-compassion. They teach us that many good things have been there all along,
even if we can’t see them.
It is important for us to first remember that like the
stars, our strengths, close relationships, and positive moments are there even
when they seem invisible. We must then remember to look. Appreciation is not
always automatic, and kindness toward ourselves may not be routine. We can,
however, learn.
“I am a forest, and a night of dark trees: but he who is not
afraid of my darkness, will find banks full of roses under my cypresses.” –
Friedrich Nietzsche
For me, perfectionism has everything to do with
vulnerability. We may fear that allowing for imperfection will result in
failure. We may perceive embracing our imperfections as giving up. We can tell
ourselves that allowing someone else to really see us could lead to rejection.
The forest can teach us about vulnerability and
relationships. Within the forest reside creatures, many of whom are hidden in
dark spaces. There are shadows in the forest. There are trails to unknown
destinations.
There are also clearings, brooks, and flowers in the forest.
In the forest, one might hear birdsong or happen upon a majestic view.
We could avoid the forest to stay safe and avoid getting
lost, but at what cost?
Like the darkness of a forest, we may all fear that secret
place within ourselves that we see as unsafe, unknowable, and unlovable. We
avoid looking altogether. We may disguise, suppress, and bury.
We might similarly resist vulnerability in relationships. We
hold ourselves back and close ourselves off. We do this because allowing others
in leaves us vulnerable.
As with the forest, entering that uncertain territory holds
risks but also abundant rewards. When we stop hiding, we can truly know
ourselves. When we are vulnerable with others, we can also find true
connection. Only then can we reveal the good within us and appreciate the good
in others.
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