Friday, March 28, 2014

What my 19 year old self have reminded me today

Before the end of this month, let me share with you something that my younger version of myself have reminded me today. And how is it? It’s through the time capsule that I have kept for 5 years and the letters inside it. 

The time capsule is part of the activity we have done during our retreat. Inside, we have placed 2 letters; a prayer to the Lord and a list of goals that we want to achieve in five years’ time. Before opening it, I was like telling people that I may not achieved a lot of what I have written.  Hello! Back then,  my classmates and I were too optimistic about the future. We were big dreamers then, and didn’t really have the full experience of the real world. Being pampered by our family and by the University, of course, we never had that practical experience of dealing with larger than a java program project that we needed to finish on time.  But as soon as we stepped into the real world, everything has changed and with that change comes being practical on what we want in life, and does, making it hard to achieve all of the things I have written. In my case, I have achieved a few of them which made me smile.

 I have written there that I would be working overseas and that I would be having some insurance. Well, here I am in Singapura working my a** off in a field I know that I can do good, if not best. And cheers to having Prudential in my monthly expense – a few hundred dollars for peace of mind, definitely worth it! Then there are the things I could not measure (probably not SMART goals) work-life balance (which I can say I am in the pursuit of achieving it every single day), a partner in life (something that I trust God to give me in a perfect time) and giving my parents a better life (which I hope I did in some way).  So, in some way, I feel that I have matched what my optimistic self had decided to achieve. However, the other letter made me shed a few tears. The content of it made me remember my mother and what I have always wanted to give to her and my father. I have also mentioned there that I do not have dreams for myself, just asking God to allow me to do what I planned to give to my parents – with the unforeseen situations, I didn't achieve that on time; I just hoped that I have given Mom something that made her feel better, even in those little and precious moments I had with her. I aim to give it to Dad though. 

 As a PS, I wrote about finding my own dream.  That’s the best reminder I need in this moment of not knowing where to go from here. I need to find that certain dream for myself and not for others. I need that certain goal for myself that will drive me to achieve it. I need that kind of inspiration to fuel my life in the next coming years. Probably a new set of goals will help me too. Who’s with me in making another time capsule? It’s never late to start dreaming and living your life. I just realized it a few months ago and I aim to achieve it. 

No comments:

Post a Comment