Thursday, April 17, 2014

The Year That Was

In a few hours’ time I will be joining the late twenties club. And that means a lot to me because being 25 had taught me a lot of things about myself and about life. So here goes this entry about what the past twelve months have been. As I enter and start another year on earth, here is the list that will make me remember the year that was.

That year blessed me with the opportunity to live on my own. From the mundane task of washing the laundry and ironing them after to cooking my own food to the complex tasks of dealing with problems on my own first – definitely that year helped me become better (mostly) domestically and emotionally.
For all the people who know me personally, you would know that the past year is the hardest year yet for me and my family. I have lost a part of me and during those times, it felt like being stabbed in the heart and slowly twisting the knife to deepen it. I  couldn’t really believe that I have survived that painful moment. However, being with my family, we’ve survived but with the longing that would forever be with us.  Pain is temporary, but longing is permanent. Mommy I miss you every single day.

This year I have found a deep connection with my emotions. It is with passion that I learned to like enthusiastically. I can’t believe I will be this fond of Zumba. I can’t believe I will love baking that much to the point of having it as stress-buster. I can’t believe that feeling passionately would mean happiness. Passion makes things more interesting. It’s the hots that you feel whenever you do something.

this is a tricky one. There are a couple of posts of mine about being happy. For the past months, it’s a struggle for me to answer the question ‘ Are you happy?’. It’s a simple yet loaded question.  When I was asked about it, it took me a (long) moment to answer it. And my answer was ‘I am not sure’.  I am happy if I make others happy, but am I happy on my own? Dang, I can’t believe it took me so long to realize that but I guess it’s part of the QLC process and that I am starting to get my sh*t together. And right now, I hold on to a saying about happiness that goes:

Happiness is not a goal. It is a by-product of a life well-lived.

Ah! Love. It is during this year that I learned that I can love deeply but still in the progress of letting people in. My mom has taught me how to love from how she loved us unconditionally. With that, it was etched in our system to be honest on loving. It was during this year that I learned that even though I know how to love deeply, deciding to give it away is hard for me. Let’s not go into detail about it, but, knowing that made me think of the things that I need to do.  


This year made me realize that life is short. Most of the points here are the outcome of missing Mom but with it comes a lesson I needed to learn. That life is short and that I need to live it. I may be happy when others are happy, but, I owe it to myself to live my life. And that starts with loving myself – taking good care of my health; being involved with what brings me joy; feeding my mind with new things and learnings; and  feeding my spirit with a personal connection with God. After all, happiness can be attained with a life well-lived.

So there goes the list of the main points for my being.  My journey continues with the lessons my past year have instilled in me. Happy twenty something to me! Another year means another year to be happy and to continue living. 

Let's end this entry with a photo.HAHA


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